Attending Get Free: A Black Feminist Reunion, the largest gathering of Black feminists in the country, as a cis-gendered, heterosexual man was, to be honest, initially daunting. Spaces like this can feel unfamiliar, even uninviting—especially if you’ve been conditioned to believe masculinity is about dominance rather than balance. But what I experienced went far beyond discomfort. It was soul work. It was community. And it was clarity.
1. Masculinity Is Not the Enemy—Misunderstanding Is
The conference challenged me to explore masculinity not as a threat or weapon, but as a spiritual energy meant to exist in balance with femininity. We’ve lost this equilibrium in a world obsessed with roles and rigid definitions. Patriarchy has clouded the truth that masculine and feminine energies are not opposing forces—they are extensions of each other. As a man confident in who I am, I don’t fear sharing space with powerful women. In fact, I embrace it. Because true masculinity doesn’t dominate—it harmonizes.
2. Black Women Have Always Led—We’re Just Finally Acknowledging It
I think often of my mother: an educated, hustling, resourceful woman who played and won in a male dominated world; all while simultaneously raising one to understand its rules. So, when I witnessed the elegance, strength, and brilliance of the women honored at the North Star Gala—Black doctors, educators, defenders, and healers—I wasn’t surprised. I was reminded. These women didn’t just earn their seats; they built the damn table. This was an almost Emmy-like event: exclusive and held at the end of the conference. The event was indeed prestigious, yes—but also intimate. These weren’t celebrities from afar. These were leaders, fully accessible and deeply rooted in the fight for justice and equality. They are generals in the battlefield that is Black feminism, and their presence commands not just attention but reverence.
3. Feminism Is Not the Rejection of Men, But the Demand for Respect
Before attending, I carried some hesitation. Would I be welcome? Would I be dismissed because of who I am? Society often paints feminism with a brush of extremism or man-hating—when in truth, it is a fight for shared humanity. What I found instead was a space of curiosity and care. I was seen, heard, and challenged—but never rejected. The women didn’t need me to be a protector or provider. They needed me to listen. To respect. To engage. Feminism isn’t about pushing men out—it’s about pushing injustice out. And there’s a huge difference.
4. There’s Room for Masculine Presence in Feminist Spaces—If It Comes With Humility
The idea that feminist spaces should be exclusive to women ignores the potential of true partnership. I believe that there is room for a masculine presence that doesn’t center itself, but contributes to understanding. What if we created a space within feminism for men—not to lead, but to learn? To unpack, unlearn, and stand with, not over? What if the healing of our people—especially Black people—relied not on division, but communion between masculine and feminine forces? Because at the end of the day, it’s not women vs. men. It’s us vs. the systems that devalue us both.
5. I Left More Informed, More Grounded, and More Grateful
Each panel, workshop, and conversation offered something to take home. Tangible resources, yes—but also healing. I left the conference with more clarity about my role in this broader fight for humanity. I am not an outsider. I am not a threat. I am an ally, a student, a contributor. My gratitude to feminine energy has deepened, and my respect for Black womanhood has grown even more profound.
This experience reminded me that the fight for equality, justice, and liberation is not just a women’s fight. It is a human one. And if I, as a man, am to play a part, I must do so with reverence, accountability, and heart.
Masculine and feminine energies aren’t at war; they’re co-dependent, spiritual forces meant to
protect and elevate each other.
